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Monday, December 13, 2010

Judge Strikes Down Obama Health Care Law

From the desk of President B. Hussein Obama,

To: The american people

Dear Citizens,

As you are probably aware by now, today a rogue federal judge in Virginia erroneously found My Great Health Care Initiative and Mandate to be unconstitutional.  Not only did this rogue judge legislate from the bench in ruling against Me, he also issued an injunction against putting this Great Leap Forward into place while My administration appeals his ridiculous ruling.  This action by Judge Henry Hudson has left me no choice but to move to Plan B for the implementation of my Health Care Initiative.

I have consulted with Attorney General Eric Holder and Treasury Secretary Timmy Geithner.  Both of these experts have assured me that we can move forward regardless of the judge's ruling.  A.G. Holder has assured me that I am in fact in charge of the executive branch, and it is therefore my privilege to enforce a law whether some judge likes it or not.  Secretary Geithner has likewise informed me that the IRS is standing by to enforce the law as written by Congress, and that they are perfectly willing to do so no matter what some right-wing kook appointed by a Republican has to say about the matter.

I realize that some individuals have suggested that this will bring about a "constitutional crisis", but I assure you nothing of the sort will happen.  Quite frankly, there has been too much talk of late about the constitution, and not enough consideration given to the needs of the people.  When you get right down to it, what is the constitution but a bunch of laws written over two-hundred years ago by a bunch of white men who owned slaves?  Why are we still letting them tell us what to do?  We need My Great Health Care Initiative, and we need it now!  This is not the time to let some racist, antiquated set of law books stop our great five-year plan!

So, I have decided the following:  First of all, the IRS will still be enforcing the Great Health Care Initiative, regardless of what some court says about it.  Secondly, no U.S. Marshal or other Federal Agent will enforce any court order contrary to the implementation of this Great Initiative.  Furthermore, any individual or group suggesting that I should do otherwise will be subject to immediate prosecution under the Sedition Act of 2010, which I am putting into place via Executive Order.

In a related note, should any of my loyal followers out there like to get in touch with this power-grabbing judge and let him know what you think about his radical ruling, I think I can arrange for the U.S. Marshals who normally guard his courthouse to be busy somewhere else.  Just let my people know the time and day, know what I mean?  Sometimes the Chicago Way is the only way.  Yeah, I'm giving you a shout out there Bill Ayers.

All right, that pretty much wraps it up.  Remember, do right and pay that mandate fee now, and you won't have anything to worry about when you get sick.

Your President for Life,

B. Hussein Obama

1 comment:

  1. This is brilliant. I was directed over here from the comment sections at:

    Just Brilliant!