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Thursday, November 4, 2010

Nancy's Letter

From the desk of Nancy Pelosi:

My Dear Fellow Democratic Congresspeople,

While I realize our ranks are slightly diminished, I believe it is important that we not make too much of the little setback we just experienced.  Yes, I know that many of our good friends will not be back with us for the upcoming Congress, but we must learn to make the best of a bad situation.  Whatever else happens, it's most important that we stick together.

Now I hear that some of you have been promising not to vote for me for Speaker of the House.  Well, I think I can let that one slide this time, since we all know that none of us are going to be Speaker anyway, so I forgive you.  I know it's only natural to be a little bitter over having to give up control over some of these committees, but really, it's only temporary.  That's the important thing to remember.  After all, if great leaders gave up every time they had a setback, they wouldn't be great leaders, now would they?

Think of the great V. I. Lenin.  Why, he had to go into exile in a whole different nation, yet he eventually managed to get back into Russia and move the progressive cause forward.  If he could be so brave and stalwart, why can't we?  And if the Bolsheviks could keep Lenin as their leader even after his exile, why can't you keep me?  After all, none of us have been kicked out of the country or anything like that.

Think of Chairman Mao, and his exile after being defeated in 1927?  Did he give up?  Absolutely not!  He came back stronger than ever.  And do you know why?  Because he was willing to do whatever it took to get back to power, that's why.  How many of you wafflers and blue dogs out there right now can say that about yourselves?  Are you willing to go to the same lengths the great progressive heroes Lenin and Mao were to get back to power?  If not, then you had better get out of my way, because I know I'm willing to do WHATEVER it takes.  So get on the bandwagon now, why you still have the chance.

I can tell you right now we'll be back in two years.  There will be no stopping me in 2012.  Obama is going to storm back just like Clinton did in '96.  We lost a ton of seats in 1946, we got even more back in 1948.  Trust me, I've been around long enough to know what the Republicans will do.  They'll find some boring, gray suit like Bob Dole to put up against Obama.  Good grief, knowing the Republicans they might REALLY put Dole up again; it would be just the sort of thing they're apt to do.  You never know with that bunch.

At any rate, Obama will storm back in 2012, and he'll carry us back into the majority on his coattails.  We just have to stick together.  We have to remember we're a team.  No, we're really more like a family.  A big, happy family.  And big sister is watching you.  She's making a list and checking it twice, if you know what I mean. So let's cut this talk about not voting for me for speaker, or my retirement, or that funny little thing you put together where I was hung in effigy, beheaded, burned and had my ashes scattered to the four winds.  Okay, I can take a joke, but don't you think that was just a little over the top?

So here's what we'll do.  We'll let bygones be bygones and look to the future.  I can see 2012 from here, and it's beautiful.  The Republicans will screw up.  They always do.  It's in their DNA.  So just remember to vote for me as our party leader, and I'll keep marching us forward to victory.


Once and Future Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi

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