From the Desk of Congressman Bahney Fwank:
Deah Votuh,
Once again it is Octobuh, time foh my favowite howiday, Hawwowween. And this yeah ahm back as that wonduhful economist, Count Faguwa.
I, Count Faguwa, have wearned the secwet of economic sucthess: put the thuck in sucthess! I will thuck and thuck and thuck until I thuck the economy dwy. No one cane thuck it dwy like I
can!
My faiful minions at Fweddie and Fannie know aww about this. They line the people up foh me and I thuck out all de money. I have been pwacticing my technique foh many yeahs, and I can pwomise you, nobody thucks it like I, Count Faguwa.
So if you want a congwessthing that can keep up on the wight twack, who can make thure things thtay just as they alwayths do, wemebuh to vote for Count Faguwa to go back to congwess dis fall.
Ah heah dat dis wittle tea-bagguh thinks he can wetire me. Well, I have newth for him. I knew aww about tea-baggin' before he wath evah bohn. I am the mastuh of all tea-baggin'. I, Count Faguwa, will save the Democwat pahty by out-tea-baggin' the Tea-bagguhs. Nobody can thuck an economy dwy wike I can, and nobody can tea-bag wike I can. So wemembuh, if you weally wike tea-baggin', vote foh I, Count Faguwa!
Sintherely,
Congwesspuhson Bahney "Count Faguwa" Fwank
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