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Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Obama's Number One Supporter Weighs in on Arizona

From the desk of D. Mephistopheles, Attorney-at-Law:

Dear President Obama,

I must admit, I am greatly pleased to see that the recent events in Arizona are having their desired results.  Of course you were unaware of my machinations on your behalf, but that must often be the case.  Consider it "plausible deniability", a term with which I believe you are well familiar.  After all, whenever innocent blood is shed, you can trust that someone from my firm has been at work.  And please, whatever face you wish to put on for your adoring public, do not play coy with me.  We have known each other far too well for far too long.

So, now that I have delivered your crisis, what are you going to do with it?  I see my trusty servant Sheriff Dupnik is as reliable as ever.  Observe him and learn.  See how he attacks his enemies without hesitation?  Does he allow his ridiculous "oath of office" to deter him?  Does he adhere to some pathetic notion of "honor" or "ethics" that constrains his speech?  Does he concern himself with his "responsibilities" as an "office of the law" in a time such as this?  No, of course not!  He is a true man, exercising his will to power without concern for the weak and stupid whom he bends to his will.  If you are to be a true Great Leader then you must become like him!

Now is the time to attack.  Do not wait, do not hesitate.  The reigns of power are in your hands.  When my Austrian henchman saw the Reichstag burning, do you think he hesitated?  Of course not; his enemies were being executed in the streets and in their beds within days.  Why then do you wait?  Do you not know that he who hesitates is lost?  Quit taking so much time to think, and simply act!  I will do the thinking for you, you must do the acting for me.  Those are the terms of our agreement, and the rules which bind both of us.

I assure you, I can deliver opportunities of this nature to you only so often, and at great cost and effort to my firm.  If you squander them, we will take our services elsewhere.  I do not say this to threaten you (although you well know what my superiors lower down in this firm are capable of) but to remind you of your obligations to us and to yourself.  Do you want to be the One True Messiah that your faithful followers long for?  Do you want to be a God on earth, as even your journalists have proclaimed you to be?  Then you must act the part.  I have given you the excuse, now you must take the action.

Let me add further, that if you will act on this opportunity, then it affords me the power that I need to create more opportunities for you.  Do not be afraid, I will never betray you or let you down!  Every time you seize one of the opportunities I give you, I am made stronger, and can provide more of the same bloodshed necessary for your advancement.  Remember, you can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs.

So the choice is yours, my friend.  Muzzle the press.  Repeal the "freedoms" your bitter countrymen so foolishly hold dear and cling to.  Once you have taken their freedom, then you can usher in the New Age and your Great Plan.  Once you give your full obeisance to me, I can fully empower you to be the God of your world.  But you must strip your countrymen of their freedom, and more especially of their love for their freedom.  Only when you do this can our common goals be fully realized.  So strike now to silence those who oppose you, and show yourself to be worthy of my devotion.

Your friend and mentor,

D. Mephistopheles, Attorney-at-Law

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