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Thursday, November 4, 2010

Michael Steele on Governance

From the desk of Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele:

Dear Fellow Republicans,

Well, we've really gone and done it now.  I believe I told you that we are not ready to govern.  I really don't know how I could have made that any more clear.  I announced it on national television, for crying out loud.  So what did you do?  You had to go and take back control of the House of Representatives. 

I believe I remember stating very clearly there was no way that was going to happen this time around.  Are you people just entirely incapable of taking a hint?  I mean seriously, if I tell you we can't do something, you're not supposed to do it.  After all, am I the leader of this party or what?  I guess you've all been listening to that blowhard Limbaugh again.  Look, turn him off already, will you?  You know he only gets us into trouble when we listen to him.

So here we are, in charge of the House, which means we're in charge of the budget.  Great.  Do you realize what this means?  We'll actually have to follow through with spending cuts, or everybody will figure us for a bunch of blowhards who can't back up our platform.  Do we really want to be in this position?  I mean think about it.  If we cut the budget, Obama will just veto our cuts and everybody we'll say we're mean to children.  I'm sick of that.  I want people to like us for a change.  How are we ever going to get people to like us if all we do is take away programs for children? 

Here's my advice.  For the next two years we're stuck with Obama as President.  I know we don't like it, but that's how it is.  So we need to learn to get along with him.  After all, he is the President.  We need to try to get people to like us as much as they like him.  Then in 2012 maybe they'll vote for us!  All we need is a candidate who is clean, articulate, moderate and won't scare away the independent votes.  Anybody know anyone like that around here?  Sure you do.

So what we really need to do is just avoid rocking the boat for a couple of years.  Don't start any fights now, we can't win.  Believe me, I know when we can and cannot win, and right now we don't have a prayer.  So no fighting with Obama, okay?  Everybody will get mad at us and not like us if we pick fights with him.  Just save it for two years until we can put up a nice, good-looking, non-threatening Presidential candidate.  I know some of you want to wade into this whole budget and health care thing right away, but believe me, we aren't ready for that kind of responsibility.  Don't be fooled by the fact that we won the election.  People make bad choices sometimes.  Whatever we do, we shouldn't encourage them.

Well, I guess that about wraps it up for now.  Keep your heads down and don't rock the boat, and we should be just fine.


Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele

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