From the desk of Saul Alinsky:
My dear fellow Americans,
Back when I wrote my Rules for Radicals, I had no idea how things would end up. I assure you, when I wrote the dedication to my book I believed my hero was a purely fictional character, a mistake I assure you I deeply regret. While I am displeased with my ultimate fate, as well as the misuse to my principles made by the current power structure, I believe there are a number of things that the American people can learn from my book when dealing with the current TSA regime.
First of all, you must realize that change cannot come until people are so distraught with the current state of things that they are willing to risk the unknown and even the dangerous. I can scarcely believe that President Obama, one of my most studious acolytes, has allowed himself to be ensnared by this most basic of principles. The current practice of allowing oafish bureaucrats to grope at the genitalia of small children and pregnant women has created such a spectacle that even a naturally conservative nation such as the United States now simmers with revolt. The American people have endured a great deal, but the open molestation of their children is almost certain to be the spark that kindles a forest fire.
What, I ask you, is your most powerful weapon? Why ridicule, of course. And who has opened herself up to ridicule? Ah, that poor incompetent, Janet Napolitano, who in the typical fashion of a petty tyrant attempts to disguise her own incompetence behind swagger, bullying and physical intimidation. Honestly, I do not know why this pathetic woman was not thrown under the bus long ago. If ever there was a target for ridicule it was this pustule of humanity, who in the face of mounting rebellion has no other option save more of the same, a sure way to inflame the masses. Even her physical appearance lends itself to ridicule, with her bloated features and mannish hairstyle. She has managed to combine intellectual vapidity, spiritual nihlism and physical ugliness all into one VERY mockable persona. My dear American people, wake up and give her the treatment she so richly deserves. And my dear President Obama, if you still listen to me at all, get rid of this miserable person before her stink attaches itself to you. I assure you, you want no part of her inevitable fate. Throw her under the bus and save yourself.
I ask you, if you wanted a target to isolate, to freeze and to attack, who better could you ask for than Janet Napolitano and her goon squad of TSA groper-fascists? Aside from Napolitano, consider her army of cretins. Poorly educated, misanthropic, myopic, abusive and callous, they fail to accomplish any public good whatsoever while creating a virtually limitless pool of ill-will for the current administration. Already they are mocked on "Saturday Night Live", a forum which should, under any reasonable circumstances, be reserved for the humiliation of Republicans.
Finally, I urge the American people to make their government live up to its own rules. This is, of course, one of my most basic principals, and one which you should seize upon immediately. If these x-ray machines are so harmless, why should Janet Napolitano refuse to be photographed by them each time she travels? If these "enhanced pat downs" are so beneficial, then how could Harry Reid or Nancy Pelosi possibly object to a couple of fingers probing their nether regions to make sure they are not packing a "device"? It is of course ridiculous to expect these individuals to live up to their own rules, so you should press the issue all the more. Once they are exposed as refusing to obey the dictates which they heap upon others their time will be quite limited.
Finally, a word to President Obama. Once more, I urge you to purge this odious imbecile from your rank with all possible haste. Make her humiliation public, and assure the masses that you had no idea what she was up to and that you are just as distraught by her actions as everyone else. If you do this you may yet limit the damage to your Presidency. If you do not, then I hope you have other plans for employment.
Sincerely,
S. Alinsky
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