The Revenge of Aqua Buddha

From the Realm of Blue Nirvana:

I, Aqua Buddha, have come forth from Nirvana for the purpose of chastising you who do not follow the right paths, and who thus receive the recompense of bad karma upon yourselves for your degenerate conduct.  Specifically, I speak to Jack Conway and his ilk, who have used me as a weapon of partisan slander in the strange Senate race going on in Kentucky.

While it is true that suffering is a normal part of your mortal existence, I find that Jack Conway and his fellow adherents to the strange philosophy of the Democratic party suffer from a perverse desire to heap up far more suffering than is necessary for enlightenment.  Furthermore, rather than endure this suffering themselves, which is the true path to wisdom, they inflict it upon others, even their own followers, which is a strange and unnecessary thing. 

First of all, this Jack Conway person must accept Antiya, the truth that all things must come to an end.  This is especially true of his current political career.  I suggest that he consult with the crone of the West, Nancy Pelosi in this matter, as she will have much to share with him.  Only when these foolish Democrats can accept the end of their base careers in political machination can they come to enlightenment and find peace.

I would suggest to Jack Conway that the Antiya of his political career was brought about more quickly by his rejection of the Noble Eightfold Path.  Specifically, he has failed to have right understanding, and seeks happiness through the pain of others.  He has failed to have right thought, being selfish and deceitful even to himself in his own mind.  He has foregone right speech, choosing instead to slander and defame those whom he wrongfully perceived as his enemies.  He has not chosen right action, instead doing that which he knows to be harmful to others.  He has no right livelihood, existing instead only as a parasite upon the labor of others.  He has no right effort, for all of his efforts are attuned to destructive ends.  He has no right mindfulness, for he lacks the reflective focus to see his own evil.  Finally, he has no right concentration, for he diffuses his energy in worthless pursuits.

So, as you can see, Jack Conway has chosen the path of darkness.  No doubt in the next life he will be re-incarnated as nothing more than a dung beetle, and only that if he is lucky.  He has chosen wrongly and is thus denied both Nirvana and a seat in the U.S. Senate.

Thus Speaks Aqua Buddha