Karl Rove on endorsements

From the desk of Karl Rove:

Dear Fellow Republicans,

I wanted to take this opportunity to talk to you about those candidates whom we should not support with our PAC money, personal contributions and party funds.  There is a certain type of candidate that we need to pay special attention to in this regard, as they have grown in number and prestige of late and could pose a genuine threat to the future of the Republican party.

I am, of course, referring to attractive, conservative women.  The Republican party has no business recruiting, endorsing or nominating attractive, conservative women to run for political office, and if we continue to do so it will only lead to our complete dissolution as a national power.  We need to reverse course on this problem and instead select and nominate candidates with gravitas, the one characteristic that can unite voters across this country.

Take, for example, that witchy woman O'Donnell in Delaware.  Sure, she's cute, and that's the problem.  Who can take a nice looking woman seriously?  I know I certainly can't.  Let's face it, you look at her, see a pretty face and a pleasant figure, and right away you know there can't be anything going on upstairs.  Believe me, this is how real men think when they head to the polls.  For that matter, it's how women think also.  How on Earth are we ever going to close the gender gap with the Democrats if we nominate attractive women?  Everyone knows women won't vote for other women.

Another prime example is that Tea-bagger kook Sarah Palin.  I mean honestly, she's good looking, but you know she's not as smart as, say, somebody like me.  Okay, I know that unlike me she actually has a college degree, but that's beside the point.  The point is, she doesn't have the same sort of gravitas that a true Republican candidate needs to win high office.  Now she's got herself a reality television show about Alaska.  Is this what we Republicans have come to?  Since when do we treat a (soon to be failed) actor as Presidential timber?  Okay, I know what you're thinking, but he was a man, so that's different. 

I remember some of our great Republican men, true men of gravitas, who inspired me in the Republican party.  I remember Gerald Ford, Bob Dole and John McCain, all men of gravitas.  These are the kind of men who have literally spent decades paying their dues in D.C., who know how the game is played, who have all the right connections in both parties and the Beltway.  These are the kinds of candidates we need to win back the White House!  Not some dumb bimbo like Palin.  After all, just look at that figure, and at her age!  There's no way a woman that good looking has anything going on between the ears.  We need men like Mike Castle and Lindsey Graham, who know how to present themselves in public.  Honestly, what are those women thinking, anyway?

As a side note, some of my "friends" have started accusing me of having a "problem" with women of late.  Well, I can assure you that is not the case.  Why, some of my best friends are women!  And contrary to what some of you wags have been saying, the fact that my wife of twenty-four years just dumped me has nothing to do with my recent statements on attractive, conservative women.

Sincerely not a misogynist,

Karl Rove