From the Campaign Office of Charlie Crist:
Dear Voter/Donor/Constituent/etc.
I would like to take a few moments to explain to you why your vote for me is absolutely vital to the best interests of this great state, and why I am willing to make such great sacrifices on your behalf. I must assure that my campaign is in no way affected, influenced, or beholden to any personal self-interest.
On the issues, I must assure you that I am completely opposed to the implementation of Obamacare, although I do favor putting it into action. I fully oppose the drain on federal and state budgets it imposes, and will work to make sure even more money is pumped into our great state through Obamacare. I oppose cuts in Medicare through Obamacare, and will instead work to cut spending on doctors and medicines, thus making cuts unnecessary.
I am in favor of reducing taxes, and will do so by voting to increase the marginal rates across the board. I will work to curb the deficit and bring more spending to all levels of social services.
As far as social issues go, I am pro-life and will fully support a woman's right to choose partial birth abortion, paid for by Obamacare. I am opposed to gay marriage, and promise to vote against its repeal once implemented through the federal courts. I fully support your right to keep and bear arms, and will make sure that only Congress, state government, and local aldermen are allowed to make laws restricting gun ownership.
If I have your vote I will keep my allegiance to my traditional Republican allies, and support Harry Reid (or Chuck Schumer, if need be) for Senate Majority Leader.
I give you my word I will work only for the best interest of all Floridians, never myself, in everything I do. I will work for the unity of all the people of our great state. And the two guys running against me are ethnic. Do you really think you can trust them?
Sincerely,
Your Future Senator Charlie Crist
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