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Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Obama invites Iran to have a "role" in Afghanistan

Obama invites Iran to play a "role" in the future of Afghanistan, seat Iranian representatives at NATO meeting on Afghanistan policy:

From the desk of President B. Hussein Obama

Attention:  Classified Information, Level 18 Security Clearance Personnel only:

Dear President Ahmadinejad,

Man, that one's a mouthful!  Mind if I just call you AJ?  After all, we're on the same side here, right?  Listen, about that shipment of explosives that got held up last week, I really don't know what to tell you.  You must have marked the boxes wrong somehow on your end.  There's no way anybody should have known about that stuff.  Maybe you should be a little more careful.  I CANNOT get tied to this, okay?  I've got enough problems over here already without always having to save your bacon (heh, I love telling you that).

I've got it set up to have NATO forces out of there by next year, so all you have to do is wait until the draw-down starts, then pummel those lunkheads like Barney Frank on a Cirque du Soleil acrobat.  I know you don't have any of "those guys" over there to really get that picture, but just take it from me that it won't be pretty.  Quite frankly, it'll do me a world of good.  Those morons who keep signing up for the armed forces of this failed nation have it coming.  Do you know that they actually support the Republicans over Me by a 3 to 1 margin?  What kind of loyalty is that?  After all, if I'm Commander in Chief, shouldn't I be able to just tell them they all have to vote for Me?  Well, if they're stupid enough to keep voting for the other side, then I guess they won't mind dying for Me.

Now listen, here's what I can do for you, and what you can do for Me.  I know you need a little more time to get that "special project" up and running.  Well, there's only two countries out there who might be able to stop you.  Fortunately for you, I'm running one of them, so I can keep the heat off your back from this side.  As far as the Israelis go, here's the deal.  I will let that mongrel son of a dog and a pig know just where he gets his foreign aid from, and just what will happen if he tries to start anything.  After all, we can't have those war-mongering Zionist monkeys harming the peace-loving people of Iran, now can we?  If that doesn't work, I can always station a carrier in the Persian Gulf to help with your air defenses.  Any Israeli planes trying to make it through will run into a "reverse liberty", if you know what I mean.  That ought to buy you all the time you need to get things finished up.  My good buddy Rev J. Wright will be really proud of me when he sees how I'm handling those jews.  Almost as proud as My father would have been if he could only see Me.

Now, here's what you can do for me.  There's nothing to rally the moron, redneck proles of this racist country around their President like the sight of a few of their countrymen getting blown up.  So, if someone (wink, wink) were to send another shipment of explosives into Afghanistan, and Someone (wink, wink) else were to make sure this shipment didn't get intercepted, then quite a few "NATO" (yeah, we know whose guys it'll be) troops could get their just recompense for oppressing the Righteous Followers of Allah.  And when I get up and give one of My Patented Great Speeches (I think I can even pull off a few tears this time) about their sacrifice, honor, nobility, yada, yada, yada, etc.; then the idiots who vote in this pathetic country won't be able to line up to kiss My shoes fast enough.  Just make sure the whole thing goes down between October 25 and 31.  My advisers assure me that will be just the right moment for a little pre-election surprise.  That ought to turn back the Republican tide and keep My people in power, which in turn will help keep your people in power. 

Okay, I think that about covers it for now.  Give My best to Hugo, tell him to keep those great W. jokes coming, I can't get enough of them.

Your Friend and Admirer,

President for Life of the United States of Amerikka B. Hussein Obama

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