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Sunday, October 17, 2010

Alinsky counsels Obama

From the desk of S. Alinsky:

Dear President Obama,

For reasons which are beyond my ken, I have been allowed to pen this brief letter to you.  I hope you find it helpful in your ongoing mission on behalf of my Grand Host.  It may be that he has allowed me to pen this to you as gratitude for my humble dedication of my life's great work to him (although gratitude is not something we really see very much of down here) or because he is concerned that you are having difficulty carrying out his plan on Earth.  I suppose I have been brought in as a consultant, for want of a better term.  At any rate, here are a few pointers which, having studied my work as much as you have, you should already have come up with on your own.

First of all, please remember that power is what the enemy thinks you have.  You have, I suspect, attributed great power to the "Tea Party" movement of the opposition.  In doing so you have caused fear amongst your followers and emboldened the enemy.  Quite frankly, when you attributed power to them you de facto gave power to them.  This was an error.  Now that your followers believe the "Tea Party" crowd has power, it has become so.  You should have known this would happen.

This naturally leads to my next point.  You have gone entirely outside the experience of your people.  Why do you have that clown as press secretary, anyway?  He's clearly in over his head.  Unfortunately, you have very few people with any military or law enforcement experience at your disposal, and it's beginning to show.  Confusion and fear are spreading among your camp.  I understand that many (most?) of your staff are retreating, even abandoning you.  You really need to get some experienced people in there who will be sympathetic to you.  I hear Colin Powell might still be available.  Just think about it.

Now, early on you did a fine job of making the enemy play be their own rules.  The problem now is that you are the one in charge of the rule book, and you have made far too many promises.  You promised free health care to everyone, with no increase in spending.  You promised to end the wars and close Gitmo.  You promised no new taxes (oh, like we've never seen that mistake before) for the middle class.  Now the enemy is holding you to your rule book.  It hurts when they use it against you, I know.  Believe me, I've had several years down here to think about it, with no end in sight.  Maybe you should just ditch the rule book altogether.  I hear one of your guys had an idea about just admitting "the Constitution is wrong".  Couldn't have said it better myself.  Lets you ditch the rule book and do whatever you want.  Might be worth a try.

It seems that of late you have ceded the ridicule rule to the enemy.  I know, the whole "tea-bagger" thing seemed like a good idea, but it was really a one-time shot that you've hung onto way to long.  Of late you and your comrades are the ones on the receiving end.  Our good friend M. Dowd tried to help you out, but quite frankly I think she needs to get back on her meds.  You've definitely let the other side get the other hand with ridicule.  Maybe John Stewart would make a good press secretary?  Just a thought.

Now remember, if it's a good tactic, your people enjoy it.  I have to ask you this as a friend, are your people in Congress enjoying themselves right now?  Why not?  Maybe, just maybe, you need to re-consider some of your tactical decisions.  We all have to reconsider from time to time.  Take it from me, I haven't had a choice to do anything else for quite a while now.

Finally, and this is the most important point for us to discuss at our present juncture, I have to ask you this:  Did you break through and take power without a constructive alternative to what the other side is doing?  You ran against the war, the deficits, and unemployment.  Looks to me like they're all still there.  You almost make it seem like the other side was right about your lack of experience.  I've almost grown wistful thinking about what Hilary might have done.  Oh well, no use in regrets, is there?  You'll have plenty of time for that once we're here together in retirement.

At any rate, I hope some of this may have been helpful.  If so, I don't suppose that as the most powerful man on Earth you could arrange a little something for me?  Maybe just a nice glass of tea.  Or water.  Or even just dip your finger in some and put it on the tip of my tongue.  It is just devilishly hot here right now.

Your adviser and admirer,

S. Alinsky

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