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Thursday, October 14, 2010

Barney Frank explains trip to Virgin Islands

Fwom de dethk of Congwethpuhson Bahney Fwank:

Deah Votuhs,

Wecently, theahr hath been a widicuwous contwovuthy ovuh a wittle twip Ah took with my wong-tuhm pahtnuh and a couple of our vewy good fwiendth.  Ah would wike to adweth that contwovuthy at thith time.

Thome of you may haf heahd dat thith twip wath a thimple vacation.  Ah can athure you that ith not the cathe.  Mah twip to de Vujin Islandth wath in point of fact a mithion of merthy.  Jutht think about it.  De name of de plathe weally sayth it aww.  Thothe poor young peopwle down dere haf no idea about de medithinal and thewapeutic vawue of thexual wiberaythun.  Aww dose poor young men, who haf nevah been taught about de thewapy of thexual wewease that ith theirs foh de taking!  It boggleth de mind!  Thomeone had to go down theh to teach aww dose fine, fit, tan, buff, cwean-thaven, oh-tho-young men about de thexual thewapy and how it hath heawing poweth.  Welww, I tokked it ober wiff my wong-tuhm pahtnuh, and Jim sayth to me, "Bahney, you ahr tho wight, we jutht hath to go down dere and hewlp aww dose poohr young men." 

Ah haff to tewll you, Jim ith thuch a joy to meh.  Ah wath a wittel nehvous when we hit de beach, but he atthured me that eben do Ahm sebenty yearth old now, I thtill wook ath good ath evah in mah thong!  Wewl, Ah got to tewl you, we hit it off wealwy wewl wiff all dem young men down dere!  Ah suppothe it didn't huht dat Ahm a wewl known Congwesspuhson, ohr dat ouwr hotht ith a biwwionairre, but Ah thtill think we managed to open a wot of eyeth with ouwr wectureth on thexual wiberation.  Tho, ath you can thee, thith twip wath actuawwy a humanitawian mithion, a vewitable mithion of muhcy.  Tho pwease pay no attensun to dose cweepth in the wight wing media at Fox Newth about any "vacation"!

What you weawwy need to be wowwying about is mah up-comin' we-ewection.  Evewy two yeahs Ah haff to take cahre of mah ewection pwospects.  So, on that note, wet me thay dis:  Thome congwesspuhsons dis yeah theem to be embawathed to bwing home de pohrk fohr dere distwicks.  Wewl, Ah can pwomise you, Ah wiwl nevuh be embawathed to bwing home de pohrk fohr mah gweat home heah in Bothton!  But wemembuh, if you want awl dat gweat pohrk Ah gif you (and you know you awl want mah gweat pohrk!) den you had bettuh take good care of mah we-ewection.  Wemebuh, if Ah don't get mah we-ewection, you don't get your pohrk!  Now jutht think about dat!

So dis Novembuh, wemembuh dat Bahney Fwank wath on a mithion of merthy to de Virjun Islandths, and if you want mah pohrk, you bettuh take care of my we-ewection.  Ah think we unduhthtand each othuh now.


Congwesspuhson Bahney Fwank

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