From the desk of CAIR Executive Director Nihad Awad:
Dear Mr. Murdoch,
It is with great displeasure that I have received the news that you infidel dogs at Fox News have hired that Islamophobic son of a jackal Juan Williams to serve as a mouthpiece for your vile propaganda against the Holy Prophet (peace be upon his name) and Allah. Now I have learned that not only did you hire that craven spawn of a goat to spew forth his bigoted bile upon your network, you actually provided him with a considerable increase in his remuneration for his blasphemous bloviations. I must admit that I find it incredible that even such a hell-spawned son of a monkey as yourself would provide this simpering dog with a two-million dollar contract, especially in the midst of this Great Recession with which Allah (peace be upon his name too) has so justly cursed your heathen nation.
Why have you failed to learn the lesson of Comedy Central? Those misbegotten children of serpentine harlots recognized the error of their feeble imaginations and repented and renounced their intention to blasphemously portray our Most Holy Prophet (peace be upon his name again) in their insipid animation. Likewise, that jewess, she-dog harlot who runs NPR was grateful for the chance to justly humiliate herself before our demands, and no doubt will make a fine dhimmi until the day she is rewarded by her just stoning. Doubtless she will humbly prostrate herself before our mighty blows, knowing that is her rightful judgment for having the temerity to be born a jew and then show her uncovered head in public.
But no, you had to go and multiply your transgressions against the Most Holy Prophet (another piece of peace upon his name) and Allah (yeah, more peace for him as also) by providing employment to that baboon Juan Williams. Beware, infidel, for your judgment is at hand! We are prepared to file lawsuits against you in Great Britain, Brussels, Amsterdam and The People's Court (we really miss Judge Wapner). We will sue you in every jurisdiction on the entire globe. We will obtain judgments against you from our brethren with the Somali Maritime Law League. Allah (alright, more peace on his name already) will deliver you into the hands of our invincible law brigades.
Soon you will join that harlot Molly Ivins in exile, hiding your miserable face and cursed name, but the servants of the Most Holy Prophet (peace cubed plus infinity upon his name) will find you wherever you go. We will sue you and sue you and sue you some more. We will bury you alive under a mountain of subpoenas. Your doom is assured. Allah (many more pieces of peace upon his name) has decreed it, so shall it be.
On the other hand, if you find it preferable, you could simply hire me and a couple of my friends as Fox News Contributors. We will be happy to work for a contract only slightly larger than the one you have provided to that bigot Juan Williams. In addition, we require that all food in the green room be halal, and that your hot anchor babes appear along with us in harem girl outfits. Remember, it's either this or the Wrath of Allah (peace, dude! upon his name).
Sincerely,
CAIR Executive Director Nihad Awad
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